the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
