she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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