getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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