Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He better not be in your backpack
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
