guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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