So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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