why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
