If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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