you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
