arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
