yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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