if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
