Where is the hickey?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
