He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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