How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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