38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
