We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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