Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
