Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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