we're blogging at a bar
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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