I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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