I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
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he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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