You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nicole vs. Life
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
