I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
