well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize