my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How does one acquire holy water?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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