sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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