She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
