Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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