I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
