Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
