There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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