I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
