That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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