Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
