She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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