i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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