I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize