So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize