She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
