This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
