every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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