My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
