I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
