if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
