I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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