I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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