Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
