he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
