I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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