Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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