She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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