We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need to sanitize my soul.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
