I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
