I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
