yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
