She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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