I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
