What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
