he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
