I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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