Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
